with that fun night came consenquences,and with consenquences came conflict and pain..i feel like im back in square one with the person who i would give anything to have his trust... and im not talking about no teenage-drama-queen-i-need-ure-trust shit, this is the real thing, this is hard cold reality, this is blood... and the ironic thing is, out of the scores of friends that i can totally open up to, this particular subject is only known to the person who isnt even giving me the time of day anymore.. ironic bullshit that is...
to [78], im sorry you had to be in the middle of the crossfire.. ill explain when i have credit..
on a lighter note, my football team had a fitness test yesterday at Bukit Shahbandar... and goddamn it made me realize how much i hate hiking! sure it was a snap compared to when a bunch of us went for Outward Bound and had to climb 22 frickin hills with nearly 30kg of stuff strapped to our backs and not enough sleep..
there was a point where i was so lost in my own thoughts, i just kept my eyes trained to the ground in front of me, and i started to realize that the pathway didnt look like a pathway that was regularlyt taken, and i looked up and couldnt see my teammate,Mimi, who was infront of me just a few minutes before.. i looked back, hoping to see my other teammates and there was noone...i had strayed out of the path without knowing...
trying not to panic(ignoring the visions in my head that showed me in the dark forest alone with just my water bottle for company) i called out my coach's name.. thank god he answered back and his voice seemed like it was on the other side of the shoulder of rock that was on my right... he came to rescue me and as it turned out i had taken a wrong turning and was walking parallell to the pathway the whole time, but i was on the rocks... the coach made sure i was in view the whole time after that..=p
so ali, wanna go bukit shahbandar together? =p
after the fitness test, we went to watch Manggis Angels and DHS Pixies play at JPMC.. my team is playing Angels next saturday so we wanted to scope out the competition.. turns out DHS Pixies are the team Aizat coaches, the one Mash is in, and the one Jus helps out with... i knew a lot of Mashes teammates and turns out i knew Aizats older sister even before i knew Aizat... small fricking world Brunei is i swear... hung out with Mirul most of the time, playing pass cause i couldnt see the game with my short-sighted-ness..
i gotta get this off my chest... why am i waiting around? in the past, the 'old' Fae wouldnt be waiting around, especially what happened in 2003 when i DID decide to wait for someone.. but now i actually dont mind waiting for 'him'.. syai was suprised when i told her during our sushi date; but i said something that wasnt even in my head "Fae's different with every guy she likes"... the sentence suprised both me and syai and i still dont know where it came from...
so now im waiting, but time is running out so will it be worth it in the end? or just another "could-have-been"?
i miss Mel and Yani.
xoxox so heres my heart waiting for you to take it baby xoxox
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|7:08 AM|