that goal that you once thought was a sphere of beatiful glass that is beyond your reach is suddenly in the palm of your hand, but before you close your fist around it, a hard wind strikes, and it crashes down, breaking into pieces, and things arent the same again... to be strong is to look at the broken pieces with clenched fists, but to take a deep breath, stoop down, and try to salvage the pieces to make it whole again... it wont be the same as you originally planned, but to accept the fact that it IS salvagable, is a first step...
it was hard at first to embrace reality, because it seemed the last thing to be in between myself and U.K Uni life, but then the rocks that trip you up sometimes just initially looked harmless...
when the doctor issued me the letter that blessed me with medical fitness, the relief i felt was enormous.. but when he called me in on Monday and sadly told me the bad news, and took away the letter, he wasnt just taking away the letter, but also taking away any chance i had on being a normal university student, graduating with my friends..
but to sit and swear, or to be furious and blame the world for the unfairness of the situation, isnt what i want to do... i would rather be optimistic, and find a way out of this dark room i was shoved into..
one of my close friends said to me "Si Fae soldier.".. and i smiled cause that was what i wanted to be.. just like a soldier, recruited against his will, but he'll just fight, not for anyone else, for himself, because hes brave enough to accept his situation and do what he has to do...
i'll do what i have to... i'll find a way out of this, i'll concentrate on getting better...i'll find out what options i have , what i have to do, and in the meantime, get healthy...
to the handful of people who know the whole story, i thank you from the bottom of my heart... you believing that i CAN be strong MAKES me strong... i'll be your little soldier, i'll do you proud..
and i dont believe that the drastic change in weather is a bad thing... maybe the weather hasnt been better.. i'll just look for a different barometer...
do me a favour and dont pity me, just pray for me... and maybe i can make a cool crescent outta the broken sphere...
When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along
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|3:43 PM|