i have a lot of things on hold (my scholarship, my license, my UCAS bla bla blaaaa)that its kinda amusing.... hahaha and i just realized anything that pisses me off or i find frustrating, after the initial flush of anger, i just find everything amusing...
my therapist (did u know therapists need therapists too?) claims i have a very hidden issue of repression... he pointed this out by giving me the example of what i did when i broke my toe... i slipped on a wet kitchen floor and landed on my toe, the pain was EXCRUCIATING and any sane person who has enough pain neurones would understand that SOMETHING was wrong with my foot with the amount of pain shooting up my leg...
but what does Fae do? she stands up, and forces herself to walk upstairs into her bedroom, with no help whatsoever.. but later she paid for her actions cause she shouldnt have stood up so soon and put pressure on her injured foot... in the long run it made the foot worse, cause ure not supposed to add any pressure on an injury.. (do you see any people who broke their arm lift something right after they broke it? didnt think so)... so in a way, im gna make the situation worse by not dealing with issues as soon as they come.. pretending things are okay are only gonna work till a set time... this was when me and the therapist started to talk about Hooke's Law (anything elastic has a limit and then it loses its elasticity and soon it snaps) but lets not go into THAT.. haha.. metaphors in science...
last night i went out to go to a supposed PGGMB reunion... hehe but erm, when u only see a handful( okay fine a handful and a thumb) of people that u vaguely remember seeing in your primary school halls, that aint a reunion =p hehee nantitah si Fae organise berabis =p..
looking at the guys that ive seen grow up from awkward little geeks to 'toned' 'confident' 'men' ,(the airquotes are there sebab im sure ada tu orang atu perasan!) i thought to myself that you dont really change the image of someone that youve already stored in your head...i still see my childhood frens as... children =p.. i remember someone was gushing over one particular childhood fren, gushing on how hot he turned out, how buff, but all i cud see was still, that geeky awkward boy =p haha maybe gradually the image WILL change, but in the meantime, the image of u guys in ure white-shirt-dark-blue-trousers uniform running around main belun, will still be there =p
i had to help 'orang atu' with his Prima registration and Mr. Jamaican War Cry keeps popping in my head at annoying moments... must be the working-at-DST mental state thats to blame... i need to get these guys out of my head permanently... anyone know a good hypnotist?
i may re-bond my hair, i may not. depends on the financial status of Fae in the next week.
my background went kaput... which was annoying cause i was proud of that piece of background... ill change it soon...
i miss a certain friend.. i never realized just how much i valued their company and conversation till its limited to online chats and random text messages...
and i would like to apologize to 'those people'...sometimes i feel like im not giving you guys my all, its not that i dont care enough, its just that i need to sort out my mess before i tackle others.. ill listen but advice and opinion, i want to refrain from giving =) to detach myself from u guys gives me more perspective and grasp on things...
"can i have a glass of Emo-Lite, on the rocks, with a twist of lemon please."
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|7:47 AM|