cause i wanna see wat happens next..
but then i owe a few people explanations, so yea..i'll update..
i've been really messed up for the past four days...my last post was me feelin really "cloud 8 and a half"-ish, but that all changed starting Monday...
i received a txt from Kiz before work,early in the morning, and she was asking if it was true... and i replied that i didnt know...it was 7 in the freakin morning and i havent heard anything... but damn i prayed that it wasnt true...sure of all the things that u can count on in brunei, its the ability of its citizens to know births or deaths mere hours after it happens, but damn i so prayed that the information was wrong..
so there i was, in Foodzone,waiting for opening time,sitting and staring at my fone, willing it to ring by anyone...anyone at all..and Wafa called...sighs, its true..it happened early in the morning...at that time noone knew why...
but *#$% how could it happen to him? what about his kids? his wife? the people who depended on him? and the suddenness of it all made everything more heart-wrenching... i remember him visiting us during hari raya, laughing and joking, making me promise to study hard for Alevels, then teasing his daughters, letting the kids run around playfully, but sternly asking his daughter if she had prayed or not...i wondered how he did it..he was a loving dad, but had his rules and successfuly brought up his children..he believed in giving them everything that they needed or wanted, but didnt reach the point of spoiling them...
i dont pretend to know him well, but i knew him well enough to see all this..so imagine his impact on those he was REALLY close to?
i re-read my "solitary rollercoaster" post and all the feelings that i had when i wrote that post is what i feel now...but less anger...just a lot of helplessness, sadness, pain... the injustice of life...
i'm really sorry for your loss...at this time, words may not mean anything to you, but there all i can offer...if there is anything i can do, anything anyone of us can do, dont hesitate.. an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry, even a punching bag...sighs, anything to ease a bit of the pain... in the meantime, stay strong... we love you..
later on that night, i needed someone to talk to, and just as expected, you were M.I.A... getting a tad predictable arent we?
i got a call on tuesday morning from DST, wanting me to go for an interview the next morning (weds morning)...so on weds morning, i stumbled out of bed exhausted because i had the dinner shift the night before...it was me and 5 other people waiting for the interview, including Kash. after the interview,i messaged aBang to pick me up (this was around 9.45) but effing roads all around the DST headquarters were closed due to the effing bikerace and the radio said the roads will only be open by 12..so me n Kash were stranded in DST for 2 hours...and my poor brother was driving all around the district trying to find a way into DST...
wen he finally came, Kash decided to ikut us, so we went off to pick up my baby sister Farah in PGGMB Sungai Akar, Nana in STPRI and dropped off Kash at his house...then we grabbed some lunch and even dropped by Foodzone for a drink...and throughout all this my dad and mom kept calling us asking us where we were and everything..we thought they were just being paranoid, but i think it was parental intuition..
so heres how it happened-
we were on the way home to Jerudong and we were on the highway... then just before the rimba overpass(going to M.S), theres a turn right..and there were these people who were fixing a streetlamp...they had that huge truck with them and they had like THREE cones that werent even 30 feet away from the truck to warn oncoming people...the car in front of us stopped suddenly to prevent herself from hitting the cones or worse, the truck, and we realized too late..abang hit the brakes, but it was too late so we crashed into the car in front...
it all hapened so fast that we went to the left side of the road...its a miracle we wernt hit by any cars that were coming from the slow lane....so there we were, on the side of the road, in shock..
i looked over to my siblings and saw that they were too much in shock to do anything...it was like a voice was telling me what to do..first- check if everyones okay.. abang - no visible injuries, we were both wearing our seatbelts..Nana- shocked but okay.. Farah - thank god she wasnt sitting in the middle like she always does or she woulda been thrown out the windshield..im not kidding...
next-call dad...he'll be right there...third- check the car...bumper fucked..license plate gone, the hood was folded...but weirdly the lights werent broken...after that was all a blur..i remember a family fren abang aerol coming over to help after seeing wat happened, i remember dad coming and yelling at the truck people..i remember the police coming..i remember the tense drive to the police station cause my brother was still shaking..i remember writing a police report...i remember me n abg talking to the girl that we hit(shes abgs age n in UBD too)..us saying sorry to each other...
i dont wanna think about it anymore... thank you to Mel for ganti-ing me at work..im really sorry it was last minute. thank you abang aerol for all ure help..ure a lifesaver...
oh, and wen we got home, i got a letter from UCAS, giving me my ucastrack password...i checked it tadi and guess what i see?
The University of Sheffield - unsucessful
just great, the only university i picked that had a full journalism course that i was interested in, not any pushing from anyone, just me being interested in the course, and i get REJECTED...
and the thing is, the entry requirements were BBB...apatah lagi Cardiff nie???
fcuken ell..
wanna hear more bad news?
the week isnt over yet...
effed up..
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|11:43 PM|